Just Ignore Me..

If I happened to said something that make your heart hurt.. even i didn't mean to, well then, just ignore me..
If I happened to make some joke and you didn't laugh.. even that jokes was just a joke to cheer you up, well then, just ignore me..
I f I happened to say hello since we never met again and you think that it's over reacting, well then, just ignore me..
If I happened to care someone like you and you didn't think that's enough.. even i tried to do my best, well then, just ignore me..
If I happened to love someone like you and you didn't care for me at all.. even that i do respect your choice and just want you to be happy, well then, just ignore me..

If you happened to meet me.. just ignore me.. will you just ignore me!!

Yes, I did it!!

Instead of Fleming & John sings "Ugly Girl" that was rounding my head when I first met her, well actually it's Sheryl Crow sings "If It makes u happy.. it can't be that bad". well, I mean, it can't be that bad for me.. cause I know, you're happy there..
And soooo...., I think I did it.. (with two thumbs up!! hihihihii..). I knew it for a long time that i can do this...
So, for you out there whose trying to not making me hurt again by avoiding me, well, i think it's useless, since I don't care about you anymore, hummm, i repeat.., it's not that I don't care, of course I care, but in different kind of feeling.. I'm Happy when you're happy.. so happily ever after then.. ^^

Just Remember Me This Way

Life Must Go on, just like Le Ann Rimes said in her song, "Life goes on, and it makes me strong"..
I don't know what will happen next.. But I'm sure it's the best that Allah give to me..

For the one that I hurt most, please remember me this way..
I always think that I might made a big mistake since you hate me so much (isn't it? is that true? i assumed it by the way you threat me different than others)
It's not such an easy job for me to make u didn't hate me anymore.. It took a lot of effort and although I try then I quit... I give up.. you're just you. I can't change u to be someone that cares for me like my friends always do..
So, I will remember you this way, because I can't mad, I really can't.. and also I'm not that expert to mad in English like you do..
So.. If people think that our stories wil end up like korean drama or Indonesian film series (Cinta Fitri 1, 2, 3, and so on), then they're wrong.. it's not a drama, it's real, and we didn't have a scenario like that..
It's end up with your life and my life, in different episodes of life..

Menakar Kebahagiaan

Gara2 kemaren menulis status di FB seputar ttg kebahagiaan, jd keinget sama tulisan yg dulu pnah ditulis, ya ttg kebahagiaan itu... judulnya ttg Menakar Kebahagiaan..

Pernah dalam suatu pembicaraan chatting bersama seorang teman, teman itu berkata, "wah sepertinya dia bahagia sekali ya, bisa beruntung gt, dpt beasiswa keluar negeri, kerja di perusahaan asing yg gajinya gede, dsb dsb.. Lantas ak cuma bisa jawab, "takaran kebahagiaan orang itu berbeda-beda, Allah sudah menetukan takaran kebahagiaan kita, tidak kurang tidak lebih..". Lalu dan lantas si teman ini tidak mjawab, keburu offline.. yahhh.. (seperti biasa,..hehe).

Jadi skrg timbul pertanyaan, sebenarnya kebahagiaan hidup apa yg ingin diraih?

• Kebahagiaan pny gaji besar sehingga bisa beli apapun dgn kekayaan yg dimiliki?
• Kebahagiaan menjadi pegawai negeri tetap status jelas dgn gaji tetap dan tunjangan lain?
• (Mengutip dr cita2 seorang teman, he2). Kebahagiaan bisa menginjakkan kaki di 5 benua?
  
• Kebahagiaan menjadi seorang istri yang dicintai dan mencintai suami hingga pny anak dan till death do us part?
• atau kebahagiaan yg mana?
  

Masih bingung, ini sebuah pelajaran hidup yg ga pnah berhenti (begitu kata seorang teman mengatakan). Hidup adalah perjuangan dalam mencari kebahagiaan, tinggal pintar2nya kita aja untuk merasakan arti kebahagiaan itu.. Karena kebahagiaan tak lain dan tak bukan adalah wujud rasa syukur kita pada Allah Sang Pencipta kita, dengan segala ridhonya, kita mampu bahagia...

Well, I'm happy enough to say that happy to have my happy life...

This is My Time!

Tulisan ini ditulis pas tahun baruan tahun 2008..

Tanggal 30 Des, tinggal satu hari lagi menuju tahun 2009. Tahun 2008 hilang...
Tahun 2009., entah ak jadi apa nanti...
Ya Allah, tunjukilah jalan yg benar..
Tahun 2009 harus mjadi orang yg kuat! Mulai menjadi jiwa yang kuat dan struggle!
Membuang semua kemalasan! Dimanapun Irma berada, harus melakukan sebaik-baik yang bisa dilakukan! HARUS!! FIGHT!! FIGHT !!
This is it..., the moment dimana roda mulai berputar ke arah atas..
Hidup, ak yang tentukan sendiri..
Kalau ak tak nyaman dan tak bahagia, ak bisa pergi dan mencari kebahagiaan ak sendiri..
Tetap idealis dlm mencari kebahagiaan hidup, bukan hanya merasa cukup.. Tapi harus terus mencari kebahagiaan itu dengan takaran yang pas, tidak lebih, tidak kurang...
AYO IRMA.. JANGAN RAGU UNTUK MELANGKAH.. THIS IS YOUR TIME!!

Irma yang Egois..

Pernyataan ini terus terngiang-ngiang di kepala..
Dengan keputusan untuk memulai karier di kantor yg baru di Jakarta membuat ak beripikir bahwa ak adalah org yg egois.. YAH EGOIS.. Knp egois?
Krn ak meninggalkan mamah dan bapak di bdg, meninggalkan teman2 yg paling ak sayangi di bdg..
Membiarkan mamah setiap hari diliputi rasa cemas krn mengingat anak bungsunya sendirian hidup di Jakarta. Membiarkan mamah dan bapak kesepian di bdg setiap hari. Tidak bisa menjadi teman sedih dan bahagia buat teteh ketika teteh perlu teman, atau jd tempat ngobrol Aa ketika Aa curhat masalah kantor dan masalah komputer di rumah. Lalu menjadi penghibur dan penengah klo ada masalah di rumah.. Belum lagi ditambah menjadi teman curhat dan sekaligus penghibur buat temen2 di bdg.. Hahhhhhh.. you're such a selfish person, Irma!!!
But something tells me that i have to struggle with my own life.. Is it selfish to have my own life?
ak tau, mamah, bapak, teteh, aa dan teman2ku semua ikhlas melihat ak memulai hidup di jkt. ga ada satupun dr mereka yg mencegah atau mengatakan ak egois.. mereka ikut senang... tp hati ini yg terus bilang ini adalah hal yg egois.. Tak bisa ada disaat mereka mebutuhkan ak.. (hufff, in this part, I don't know why, my eyes starts to have tears).
Mah, pak... maaf ya Irma ga ada setiap hari untuk bersama mamah sama bapak.. Irma belum bisa jd anak yg berbakti sama orang tua... pdhl irma pengen banget nemenin mamah sama bapak sampe tua.. ngebahagiain mamah sama bapak selama irma bisa..
Teh, maaf Irma skrg jarang denger teteh curhat lg, atau nemenin teteh nyanyi2 di mobil pas pulang dr kerja... Irma tau teteh cukup kuat tanpa ada Irma =)
Aa, maaf ya ga bisa jd pemain cadangan buat bangunin Aa klo pagi2 lagi... ga bisa ganggu klo lg pgn ngetik dikamar atas.. ga bisa ke beli dvd bareng.. hehe.. mudah2an kepengen yg satu itu tuhh bisa terlaksana klo ada rejeki yaa..
Teman2, maafkan klo dulu kita masih bisa ketemuan di hari yg tidak weekend, masih bisa sama ke seminar atau career day, atau cm sekedar pgn liat2 barang2 lucu di mall dan pasar grosir lainnya..

But in the end I think, this is life...
Masih ada teknologi yg namanya telepon atau internet.. Masih bisa dgr suara mamah, bapak, teteh, dan aa di hr tidak weekend dgn telepon.. Masih bisa dgr curhat teteh di ym dan FB. Masih bisa ngobrol dan curhat apaaaa ajaaa sama temen2 tersayang (malah lebih intens sejak ada FB. hehe).
Badan dan uang dikuat2kan utk setiap weekend pulang ke bdg.. spy pny quality time bersama keluarga tersayang dan teman2 dan ga nyesel ketika merasa semua sudah terlambat...

Ahhhh.. I'm such a lucky person to have this woderful life.. I'm not a selfish person.. I think, I'm just a typical person that trying to make people happy...

You've made it..

I'm feeling very tired, sometimes..
of all these, being a struggle woman and full of happy face (keep smiling =) )
but somehow, that's just me..
I'm who I'm, I'm glad to be me..
I can't change what inside of me..
People know me as me, not with the mask..
but what if I can't stand it?
what if i felt so way way way too tired from all of things that happened?
No, that's definitely not me,
Irma who i know is going to fight back, fight all the fear, fight all the suffer, fight all this pain, and fight all this feeling..
And finally, I can get survived
And then I can say to my self
"Well done, Irma, you've made it!"